so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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