Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
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