Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
