I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize