my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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