Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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