well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
