Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
