there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
