I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize