So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize