Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
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After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
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I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize