I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
