He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she looked like the before picture.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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