also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
