one word: firstdatebathroomanal
honey bunches of taint.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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