try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
