I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize