Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
