Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
