wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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