He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
