I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
