Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
