Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
