where am i from again
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
