Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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