We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
