..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
