It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
