they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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