is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
