epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
