I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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