I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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