I think I am morally bankrupt
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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