I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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