I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
