Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
