your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
