so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
