okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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