His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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