I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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