oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
