I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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