My brain says no but my pants say off.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Randomize
