I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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