So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
