By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize