They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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