I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
