Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
