The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
