i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
