So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He has the fingertips of a God
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