You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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