and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
