did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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