Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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